Thursday, September 11, 2008

Emily's 6 Steps to The Successful Execution of a Pop Song

1. Open the song with a crooney, kind of sickly tone that is more or less devoid of emotion, as if you were humming to yourself while doing the dishes or mumbling incoherently in your cell. Introduce the A section (or the first repetition of the only section) this way.

2. Next, start to whine a little, like you have some sense of foreboding or intestinal discomfort. Bring in some pedal tones or something. Crescendo final phrase.

3. Now, belt it out like the devil goosed you with his pitchfork and is now a-chasin' after you.

4. BRIDGE!!! (Just go through a previous chord progression on a rip roaring electric guitar.)

5. Mellow out a little. This is the time when it should sound super emotional, like you're in complete awe of the wrenchingness of the feelings you're feeling, but also incorporate the element of anguish/gas.

6. Finally if you're able, reiterate the last little phrase up an octave in falsetto.

3 comments:

John said...

I'm sooo in the mood for Linkin Park right now.

theriddle said...

what about closing your eyes?

Unknown said...

The stars often need drugs to do this with a straight face.